On Smartphones

Originally Posted 5/30/25

Smartphones are everywhere. Almost everyone I know has one. It's almost impossible to live modern life without them, given even paid parking requires an app in most places now. But... is this good for us?

The Beginning

I was in High School when smartphones started becoming mainstream. As someone who has always been interested in tech, these things seemed amazing! Other tech had done similar things to apps on a smartphone - iPod touches or PSPs (to some extent) for example. But a smarthphone had everything all in one - calling, texting, apps, music, the internet, gps, everything! To be able to have a device that powerful in your pocket was amazing! I got a smartphone much later than my peers, as it was something my parents did not care for, and so I only got one when I was able to afford a phone and a phone plan all on my own. And it was great! Able to communicate with people over Facebook messenger, or a handful of other messaging apps, from wherever! Or when I went on my hikes, being able to keep a record and track my hiking was amazing. It really seemed like an amazing device, that added to my life.

Now

Since then (about 10 years now), it feels like a lot has changed. In part it's just my own habits, but also apps and media have become a lot more addicting. When I was first getting my smartphone, most apps served content chronologically. Algorithmic based feeds are now the default, and designed to keep users glued on their screens / in the apps for as long as possible, even if that means showing enraging content. Because of this, I have started becoming much more weary, and disappointed, with my phone usage.

This sort of started with meeting my friend Sage. They are the only person I know who only has a "dumbphone" - a basic flip phone. They have a standalone GPS for their car, and anything they need to do on the computer they wait until they're back home for. Even when I first learned about this I was impressed - someone able to survive just on a regular flip phone? In this modern world? How impressive is that! I wish I could be that level of disconnected from my friends/ the internet. (I should clarify, when I say "disconnected from friends" I mean because my friends basically only communicate via web based apps. I'm not sure Sage's circumstances). It's one of those things I found myself impressed by and envying a bit, but sort of chalked up to as "Oh well, that would never work for me", and not thinking too much deeper into it.

I had, for a while, noticed the trend in others and myself, to reach for our phone during any sort of down time. Waiting in line? Phone. Have 2 minutes before food is done cooking? Phone. Hanging out with friends and the conversation hits a lull? Phone (though this one I was personally less bad with). And that didn't make me feel great.

What's gotten me thinking about this more recently, was YouTuber Eddy Burback's video, "I hate my phone so I got rid of it". I think in general people are becoming more aware of how unhealthy social media and our phones are, and there's starting to be a push back from it, but this video really highlights a lot of points and issues I think many people are starting to become aware of with smartphones. In the video, Eddy goes a month without a cell phone. He gets a house phone, has to call his friends to make plans, and has to find ways to occupy his time that would've been spent mindlessly scrolling. He has to deal with his instinct to constantly reach for his phone. I think he does a great job going into how much his life changes, and in some ways for the better, now that he doesn't have a phone during this month long period.

That video though got me thinking, and noticing things in my own life. In the video he mentions how, without his smartphone, he's doing things like cooking without watching something, or scrolling. And at first I thought "wow, that's sort of ridiculous. I'm not even that bad". Until, I started noticing I was doing the same thing. Anytime I felt any sort of boredom, I was reaching for my phone to fill the space. And... I didn't like it. That felt wrong. Why could my attention not be left to the task at hand, and not have to be filled with mindless content from the internet? Author John Green mentioned many times that in his book, "The Anthropocene Reviewed", he almost wanted to write something on boredom, and have it start with "Boredom was", because it no longer exists in our current world of interconnectedness and smartphones.

Change is Needed

For a while now I've felt like I needed to do something to curb my social media / smartphone usage. One way I've done this recently is blocked Facebook and Twitter on my devices on my home network, and removed the Facebook app from my phone (I didn't have the twitter app already). This forces me to stay off those sites, but man the amount of times I still go to automatically open Facebook on my computer... And it's sad too, because there are people I'd like to stay sort of passively in touch with through social media, however there's just so much negative with it it's... a big ask. This is one of the reasons though I wish more people had their own websites and RSS Feeds (How to create a feed with Neocities).

Outside of that, I've also wanted to just try to move away from my smartphone where I could when possible. Michelle and I want to do more camping this year, and so I've bought a "dumbphone" (Nokia 2780 Flip) to use while camping. My goal is that Michelle and I can leave our smartphones home or in the car, and largely just have this flip phone to use. Forcibly disconnect us when we're trying to be disconnected. I like the Nokia 2780 because it still lets you sync contacts via Google Contacts, and so I didn't have to manually add people I'd want to contact while out and about (or who may need to contact me). When I was in college, one of my professors for the teaching program told us when we were going into schools to shadow, to leave our phones in the car. Even if we just left them in our pockets, and didn't take them out, part of our minds would still be dedicated to wanting to check the phone, or wondering what sort of messages we had. I, at the time, thought this was ridiculous. Now though I think he was right - if my phone is on me, part of me is always thinking or wondering about the next notification, and it's almost a battle to not take it out.

A Recent Incident

An event recently though that really horrified me with how much I use my phone, was I was shopping with Michelle. She was telling me a story about something happening in her life recently, but sort of stopped because she was trying to find a specific item and was having trouble finding it. At this time, one of my friends messaged me on Discord, and I saw the notification on my smartwatch. I pulled out my phone to respond to the message, and the next time I looked up from my phone we were at the car. Michelle was, rightfully, a bit upset with me given I basically became enthralled with my phone and did not pay attention to the rest of her story, and even more than that, she felt lonely despite being in the store together, because I was ignoring her to interact with someone else online. And I hated myself for this.

After this, I wanted to try and use the Nokia flip phone more. Michelle and I a few days later went to Burlington to walk around and film a video (check it out here if you want). During this walk, I wanted to make sure I didn't have my phone as a distraction. So, I left my smartphone in the car, and only brought the flip phone with me. I was even able to still track my walk, because my smartwatch can do it on its own. But almost immediately I noticed a difference. As we arrived, Michelle needed to use the restroom. So I waited outside, near the bathroom. Now, had I had my smartphone, I almost certainly would've pulled it out to begin browsing something. But, since I didn't, I just.... looked at the trees? We were at a park, so also just watched some children playing? I read some signs around the park? And then once Michelle was done going to the bathroom, and we went on the walk, I didn't have any part of my brain worried about notifications because I couldn't get any. There was no part of me getting pulled away from the moment at hand and it was... nice? Amazing? Michelle and I have since gone on another walk, and I left my smartphone at home for that too, because yeah. If I'm going to be spending quality time with someone, I really want to make sure I'm fully invested in being there with that person.

Change in the Broader World

I'm not the only one who has noticed this change is needed though. Schools across the country have been talking about banning smartphones in schools. Here in Vermont, it's been a remarkable success at one of the test schools. Both teachers and students have been enjoying it, and getting back to having more in person social interactions. I've spoken before about how people want more in person community, and often feel a lot of loneliness with only online connections. Recently, Spain and Portgual lost power, and the streets were filled again with people enjoying life. It was kind of wild to see people just sort of enjoying life and their time together, without phones. When that news story first broke, I saw comments of people saying "Wow, our parents were right, it really was those damn phones". As I mentioned before, I truly think more and more people are starting to realize actually how negative it is to be constantly plugged in to the internet, and the broader world around us.

Looking Forward

Kids are something I'd like one day. With this, the thoughts of "How will I handle technology with my kids?" has come to mind. Are they going to be iPad kids? Completely techless instead? My current thoughts are to severely limit computer access while they're younger to just a computer (I half joke I'm just going to have them using a Windows XP computer). While they're home I don't mind them being on the computer (that's all I wanted to do when I was younger), but if we're out and about, or it's bed time, I want them to be able to disconnect from the internet. I think that's healthier than constant access. I think Middle School is about the right time for a kid to get a cell phone (though I can remember being a kid and having to wait until middle school for a phone and thinking it was ridiculous). But I think around Middle School is when kids are starting to get more independent, and do things like after school clubs, where communication is important. I also know for me personally texting was how a lot of people my age interacted socially, and I don't want to keep my kid from being able to socially interact with their peers in whatever way will be possible at that time. Of course, I say this all now, not being a parent and not having a child. Things could easily change by the time I am a parent, however this is what I currently think would be ideal.

On this sort of topic, I've seen people bring up recently online about how they'll show their kids older cartoons / kids programming, because they're less designed to keep your attention, and less designed for short attention spans. Parents have mentioned their kids seem to throw less tantrums, and be generally calmer, watching these older shows (and because of this I've been trying to amass a collection of these older shows). In the same vein, parents are finding it extremely difficult to take an iPad away from their kids, especially if they were used to it. Severe meltdowns, or resistance, from the kid where it almost becomes unbearable for the parent. Someone mentioned online recently something that never really clicked for me until they said it but.... A lot of apps and entertainment now are designed to be addicting. Of course, taking away an addiction from a child is going to cause an extreme reaction. Hell, there are plenty of grown adults who would not be able to handle a withdrawl from their phone, and we're expecting kids to? This is another reason why my goal would be to not have my future child have access to something like an iPad constantly - if they don't have it to begin with they can't react to taking it away.

Wrap Up

I'm curious other people's thoughts on this though. It feels weird for me, someone in tech, to also be very against tech in these ways. But also... maybe tech has gone too far? Or we need to rethink tech to be more community, people focused. A way where it more mimics the sort of social dynamics humans evolved for. I'm not sure, but like I said, curious to know what others think. Feel free to leave a comment or send me an email (info on my Contact page).